On The Importance of Your Back

Have you seen the Sex and the City episode where Miranda pulls out her back in the shower and Carrie's boyfriend is the only one available to help her get back up in all her naked glory? Well, on Friday morning, I woke up unable to get up. Thank goodness I don't live alone and I had some clothes on. My back was stiff as a board and while I could wiggle my toes and flap my arms up and down, it was no good without the back. Go figure. Can you imagine how scary it is to realize that you physically cannot move? It is. But when it's oh, THE SEVENTEENTH TIME IT'S HAPPENED IN THE PAST YEAR, the whole pulled-my-back-and-can't-move-if-my-life-depended-on-it sort of loses its panicky edge. I got really bummed out being holed up inside the apartment doped up on muscle relaxants. It was torture to lay still all day on the couch as I stared at the blue sky and heard all the activity going on outside. Well, then again, there was that special part of my day when I crawled on all fours to get to the bathroom only to semi-squat over the toilet and nearly tip over onto my face mid-stream. That was fun.

Uplifting Voices

Right here in New York, another teacher has made a difference. This time, it's to fifth graders in a school where over 75% of the students qualify for the free lunch program. And they know how to ROCK IT. Check out the PS22 Chorus Blog.

Somewhere in New Jersey There is a Sweet Dog Recovering from the Runs

A friend of mine from work had a pretty crappy day yesterday. Literally. He started his day by waking to the stench of diarrhea. One of their dogs, a lovely white-coated wheaten terrier, had gotten sick at night. The dog walker called in the middle of the day to alert him that he had gotten sick again. Well, the good news is that the dog walker cleaned up that mess and since that was the second diarrhea incident in twenty-four hours, he probably got it all out of his system that time. Or not. That evening, he returned home to a sight unseen, a home devastated by a serious case of the canine runs. It was so bad that he scrubbed down the French doors. No need to share further details. Thank goodness for carpet steamers and disinfectant products, amen?

This morning, I slipped getting into the tub and banged the side of my leg pretty hard against the side of our raised tub. The sharp unexpected blow immediately brought tears to my eyes. My leg throbbed loudly and I inaudibly cursed the tub gods in my sleepy stupor. I used the time wisely and did everything in my power to suppress the urge to limp back to bed and pretend that I had no job to worry about keeping. And because I am an insanely weak person, I nearly lost that battle until I remembered that, wait a gosh darned freaking minute, Miss Julia...at least you don't have a 50-lb. white-furred dog that spewed its digestive juices across the floor and walls of our tiny apartment and then rolled around on the living room rug and couch all night long. Now do you see how the glass was totally half full this morning?

The raised bump on my shin that will surely be a pretty purple in a day or two is a gentle reminder that life could actually be shittier than you think.

Easter Doesn't HAVE to Include Marshmallow Peeps

I never understood America's infatuation with marshmallow peeps. Despite their cuteness, they taste like soft styrofoam rolled in sugar and turn your fingers yellow or pink to boot. Maybe it's because I never took to the wonder that is marshmallow, but whenever they surface for Easter, I turn the other way with a quickness.

To combat the proliferation of those gross processed marshmallows on this fine Easter holiday, I decided to try a recipe for mocha chocolate chip muffins. We didn't have cocoa powder or instant espresso so we improvised a bit - now I know that I need real cocoa powder and instant espresso, not Swiss Miss hot chocolate mix and instant coffee. Ha. Plus, the ingredient list didn't include baking soda even though the directions called for it. Used a single teaspoon and the muffins turned out totally yum. They lack the coffee-ey taste I hoped for, but the yogurt in the batter is definitely a hit. Will try these again someday.

A "Good" Laugh

Below is an excerpt from an e-mail I received this morning from the mother of a six-year-old. I got one heck of a good laugh out of it. Hope you get just as much of a kick out of it as I did.

Matt was looking at the calendar on Thursday and said, "Mommy, we missed Passover." I explained that Passover wasn't one of our holidays, we do Easter instead - you only get one or the other. He said, "That's ok, look, Friday's going to be good."

Get it?! I'm laughing again after reading it a second time. Pardon me as I grab a tissue to wipe away the tears.

Chris Brown Pled Not Guilty

My ass he's not guilty.

One Lemon Drop or One Bullet

That disturbed guy who went on a shooting rampage on Friday in Binghamton?  Yeah.  That guy.  The NY Daily News reports that he purchased "the special 'value pack' of a hundred 9-mm. bullets for $15.99." 

 

I beg of you: how is it possible that a single bullet costs less than a piece of candy?